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If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behaviours.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems w... See more
Do You need counselling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behaviours.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to 'put you in touch with your feelings and express them' --that may be precisely what your problem is.
With counselling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on circumstances and the techniques used.
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger - and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will always happen that will cause you anger.
Life will always be filled with frustration, pain, loss and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
American Psychological Association
Office of Public Affairs
750 First St., N.E.
Washington, DC 20002-4242
(202) 336-5700 ▲ Collapse
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