Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Yes Natalia, I believe he is encouraging me to move on, and since these are HIS мысли, I think he should move forward with a plan to back them up with my assistance and full participation. I have no problem moving forward on my own thoughts. This is where I think we're trying to establish boundaries and I just want to make sure I don't miss a cultural cue that I'm not aware of, or miss an opportunity because I'm doing something American that he doesn't understand. If I was his secretary, I understand it would be my responsibility to act on his every suggestion, but we are equals. He threw out a vague idea, I supported it and took it one step further and defined it for him, so that there is no doubt in his mind, I am in full cooperation and agreement. I like what rns said about 60% and 20% of men. It is so much better when it's THEIR idea and comes out of their initiative, they are so much more likely to support it and defend it to the end. And so we wait....

Thank you rns for being the lone male voice and for your very valuable insight. You have been extremely helpful! :-)

Tatevik Hovhannisyan Jun 18, 2010:

I second rns: it might well be overanalyzing too, as the phrase IS quite common. I'll stop guessing here as I have a feeling that any of the suggestions could be true. I'm female and I know how bitter patience is. Good luck!

rns Jun 18, 2010:

Just let it settle Well, from your last notes it looks like he at least doesn't dislike what he is hearing and either (1) as "strong and decisive" he would better define himself what to do next rather than do what he's told to or (2) is just unsure how to do his best.

See, roughly 60% of men like it when a woman takes an initiative but only roughly 20% would agree to accept it and act on it.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Natalia Potashnik Jun 18, 2010:

Can I comment as a Russian woman who knows a little about Russian men? If he contacted you for no reason this means to me he does not realize that the ball is in his court. He actually has expected something from you that he did not get, so he decided to make a move himself to prompt you to act. The remark sounds positive as to encourage you to move on.

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Ok Tatevik, (I assume that's a male name?) Why would he not take the next step and propose a plan of action? Russian men are strong and decisive!

Tatevik Hovhannisyan Jun 18, 2010:

That changes everything then! In that case it is a positive remark.

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Thank you rns! I have added to my last explanation in case you're interested. I value a Russian man's opinion in this case SO MUCH! That's just it, he contacted me for no specific reason (unscheduled), made a very positive comment about his own мысли, I confirmed it and took it one step further, expecting him to take the next step, and then he said, "мысли имеют свойство матерелизоваться." I'm trying to figure out if that was a confirmation of what we were talking about and a pause of caution on his part, or if he is waiting for me to put forward a plan of action. Since I had already proposed a plan of action in the past, I expect him to take the initiative this time, especially if he is serious about moving forward. I don't want to drive the events forward, and then if he's not happy later, give him an opportunity to blame me for rushing him into doing something he wasn't ready. As an American, I am very impatient, as a woman also! :-)

rns Jun 18, 2010:

"don't even think of it" or "go ahead" To me, as a Russian man, this answer looks like he is either (1) somehow doesn't like or is unsure about what he is hearing so he is trying to warn you that this may come true (to his dislike or not being sure whether he'd like it or not) or (2) does like what he is hearing and expects that you'd somehow go for it.

I personally would bet on (1). Just a guess, surely.

Another opportunity not to be overlooked would be that he's filling in an uncomfortable silence, so not overanalysing looks like a sure option.

Good luck!

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

I think this is part of the negotiation. We are both playing "chicken" to see who blinks first. The stakes are high and will set the precedent for who is expected to do what in the future (and who is to blame if it falls apart). I have already presented an action plan earlier that was accepted, but then fell apart due to outside circumstances. So that's why I think now it's his turn. Being an American, and a female, I wonder how much of this is cultural or if he is stringing me along just because he thinks he can (like an American man would). I know that as an American, my expectation of a timetable of events is very short. I know for a fact that CIS men will "test" women in their own culture to see if they are trustworthy and can be relied upon. I hope that's what's happening here, but it's hard to tell. I'm being cautiously optimistic (and maybe I'm over analyzing as well.) ;-) I agree with the consensus that he's not ready to move forward with a specific commitment and needs more time, but that the feeling is positive. Also, he must think this is worth his time to continue the discussion in the first place. Right? I understand this is outside the scope of translation! lol

Judith Hehir Jun 18, 2010:

Guesswork: I wouldn't take that statement as an indication that he's looking for you to take the initiative or that he's looking to make a break. My guess (strictly a guess) is that he isn't ready to commit to anything, but he is suggesting the likelihood of something positive materializing (assuming, that is, that the мысли he's referred to are the ideas the two of you have been throwing back and forth). Can you just be direct and ask him for clarification?

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Yes, I fixed the "brakes." I really appreciate everyone's comments. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't miss something by not understanding the nuance of имеют свойство. Thank you very much!!! Men can be an interesting загадка in any language! :-)

Tatevik Hovhannisyan Jun 18, 2010:

The asker did spell "brakes" correctly, I meant a "break", not "brakes"...

Rachel Douglas Jun 18, 2010:

"brakes" I wouldn't venture to guess just what your negotiating partner means (regardless of his gender and nationality), but what you say is plausible. You think the ball's in his court, but he's signaling that it's up to you to make something happen. By the way, "put the brakes on," not "breaks."

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Thank you Tatevik! :-(

Tatevik Hovhannisyan Jun 18, 2010:

I believe you have interpreted the phrase correctly, almost clearly it's a "break" signal

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

Rachel,
Thank you for your reply. I am a woman involved in a negotiation with a Russian man. In context, there is a discussion and a very positive negotiation. We are both in agreement and state our agreement. Then the Russian party makes the statement, "мысли имеют свойство матерелизоваться" but does not offer a way for this to happen when the ball is clearly in his court. I wonder how to take this. Is he applying the brakes in the negotiation and saying, "let's wait and see what happens?" Or is he waiting for me to propose a specific plan of action? I am inclined to think that he's applying the brakes, that he's not willing to take the next step at this time of moving forward. What do you think? Wouldn't a Russian man take the initiative if he was serious about the negotiation? I really appreciate your opinion on the thought process of Russian men! :-)

Rachel Douglas Jun 18, 2010:

Not passive Why do you think this is a passive construction or expression? In either case, "thoughts tend to" or "thoughts have a tendency to," you have an active voice verb of which "thoughts" is the subject, so the thoughts are taking the specific action of tending to do something. ... On the other hand, "иметь свойство" doesn't necessarily mean exactly that. It would be useful to know more of the context, the writer's argument, in order to see whether he means that they _can_ "materialize" (and whether this is meant in the literal sense of "corporealize," or in a figurative sense), or that they _do_ so, or often do so (tend to).

Mila1 (asker) Jun 18, 2010:

tend to Thank you for the translation. I wonder if this is a common phrase and if it has a connotation of being passive, as in: thoughts have a tendency to materialize (eventually). As opposed to taking a specific action towards achieving a goal. Sorry for being so picky, but it's important for this particular case.